I sat waiting today in a Barnes and Noble parking lot. I noticed a man get out of his car and a small child get out from the other side. The man, obviously the boys father, stood wiping the car door with his hand. The boy grabbed his hand and tried to drag him away and into the store. The man at first calmly told the boy to wait, and continued to look over his car door. The boy kept at it and soon the man got annoyed and the boy got scolded for a second. The boy pouted and waited longer. The man finally stopped fawning over his car and took the boy inside.
I have been that boy, well, sort of. I dated a guy in high school for almost a year who was obsessed with his car. It took up 95% of his days off. He would invite me to watch him wash his car. Oh, yes. Joy. He would take me to car stores and explain at length about his car and what he did to this car. It was something that he was very proud of, and I could care less about honestly. I would go to the stores, watch him wash it, and listen to every story as if it meant the world to me too.
This is what we do for people when we love them and want to spend time with them. It seems to be something that a lot of women do. And I am sure the men feel the same way when they listen to us talk about shopping or doing laundry. It doesn't truly interest them at all, but they normally stop listening and walk out of the room. Or they are always too busy to really listen because there is something else catching their attention, maybe that car they adore.
I married a man who's obsession is working. Now, there is something to admire in the fact that his major hobby/obsession in life is his job. Yet, it does get in the way just as much as a guy who loves to watch football all weekend or wash his favorite car 4 times a week. The stories are just as boring and the time that it takes up is just as much as any other hobby.
The difference for me is that he spends 10 hours a day in the office. Then comes home and works for another 2 hours a lot of nights. Weekends there are more work related things. And so on. I guess if it were a different hobby it wouldn't seem so obsessive in nature. Splitting your passions. Making the most out of your life. You know… that saying, "Don't spend your life making a living, and forget to make a life." Yeah, that sort of rings true when I think about my husband and his obsession with all things work. If there was a second shift at his job, he would work them both… plus the weekend!
This got me thinking... how many relationships suffer because of one or both of the people involved obsess about something other than the relationship? Is it healthy to have a passion and spend all of your free time doing that and then let the relationship suffer? Or is the hobby killing our relationships? Have we become an obsessed world; losing touch with the things that truly matter in life?
No comments:
Post a Comment